[blank} IS SO OLD

Back in the days when Bob Dole was last running for President, there was a bit of a fad on Usenet: the "BOB DOLE IS SO OLD THAT - " joke. They started out funny and/or stupid, but quickly got really weird and incredibly stupid.

Now, I've been maintaining files to store funny bits that I find online over the years, and sure enough there are some BOB DOLE IS SO OLD THAT -  jokes in them. But after looking them over, there's nothing there that...oh, hell.

BOB DOLE IS OLD

BOB DOLE IS SO OLD THAT THE BIRTHDATE ON HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE IS IN ROMAN NUMERALS.

BOB DOLE IS SO OLD THAT HIS FAVORITE SPICE GIRLS IS OLDY SPICE

BOB DOLE IS SO OLD THAT WHEN HE WENT TO SEE THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS THE LEAD ACTORS NAME CHANGED FROM CHOW YOUNG FAT TO CHOW OLD FAT

BOB DOLE IS SO OLD THAT THE GRIM REAPER DIED WAITING FOR HIM TO DIE

BOB DOLE IS SO OLD THAT WHEN HE PEES HE PEES DUST

And those are the relatively less-embarrassing ones!

Anyway, if you want to plumb the depths of Bob Dole old jokes, here's a link. But it's on you.

I posted this because I suspect that there aren't a lot of people who remember this lame internet fad. But I'm also posting it because it seems incredibly appropriate for the upcoming Presidential election, in which two of the oldest and most senile candidates in history will be inflicted on the American people yet again. Maybe it's time to resurrect and repurpose those jokes!